One year...

Today marks Evan being enlisted in the Navy. One whole year. This time last year, I received the "I'm here, I'm safe, I love you" call.  April 24, 2012, my mom and I drove to Chicopee to watch Evan swear in to the US Navy and leave for basic training. We were able to sit with him for most of the morning. I gave him a letter, and a picture of me. I held his hand, trying to fight back tears. As I watched him swear in, my heart swelled with pride. It was almost as if, before my eyes, the boy I had loved for 5 years, turned into a man. I could not even begin to describe the pride that I felt at that moment.  As we said our "see you laters" I tried to hold back tears. He kissed the few that escaped. He kissed my palms, my cheeks, my forehead, my lips. As we were escorted off base, I was in shock, but amazed at the strength of this man.

Over the past year, I have gone from seeing my fiance multiple times every week, to seeing him once every 2-3 months.  I have gone from ignoring phone calls, to having my phone attached to my hand. I have learned to treasure a letter, a text, an email, a few second phone call, and every single second that we are able to spend together.

I'm not going to lie to you. I was a huge mess. Colossal. Before basic, and during, and after. While Evan was in basic, I lost almost twenty pounds. I barely slept. I cried myself to sleep nearly every night. I doubted myself. Others doubted us. I was met with adversity from all sides.

But I am proud to say, that I am stronger. I now can go weeks without communication,  with little complaint. I can go months without any kind of physical contact with my fiance. I am so proud of Evan, but I am also proud of myself. I admire who Evan has become, is becoming, and the man he will be. I admire me.

<3